Teen Angst
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Anti-social, me?
I know it's not my classmates' fault, it's not as if they ostracized me, and in fact they are all really nice and friendly. If someone was to be blamed, it's me. It's just me feeling insecure, still clinging to my past, refusing to step out of my comfort zone.
I am disgusted with myself. Yet, somehow I just can't bring myself to embrace strangers with open arms.
When I was young, I attended 4 different primary schools. Surviving in a completely new environment and fitting in with the locals was no mean feat after a while. To think I used to pride myself in that.
Perhaps after four [relatively peaceful] years in RG, I was beginning to rely too much on my crazy 406 classmates like Sarah, Linlin, Yajie, Weixia, Huimin, Mingyue, the ntco gang [and many other wonderful people that appeared in my life] to stay happy everyday. After all, they are the ones who have shaped my identity.
I miss 406's fun and laughter. I miss going home with the ntco bunch. I miss my Secondary four life. I even miss watching videos during History lessons, lanning outings with Serene, making fun of Huimin's taste [or the lack of], the three years I spent RGCO, two in NPCC(SEA), teenhood.
How can I forget?
I feel miserable inside.
Today my class had only one lecture, which happened to be at 12.35pm. So after assembly, we went to play captain's ball on the basketball courts. Barely 10 minutes into the game, my initial excitement was replaced by an onset of depression. I left the game halfway, feeling lousy and stupid. Met with Linlin and her OG mates [bb 07] to study at the windy benches. It was quite fun to meet new people, play with Linlin's Ipod touch, and listen to Nat and the Catholic High guy bicker over her music taste. [The guy apparently couldn't tell the difference between the different genres of metal and rock, at the same time refused to listen to the 'melodic metal' songs she recommended to him.] Us technology savvy bunch! Among the 5 of us, we had 1 Ipod, 2 Ipod touch, and 1 Ipod nano. :D I think somebody took a picture of that.
Soon, Linlin, the Catholic high guy and Nat had to go for their lectures, so I went to the canteen and found Serene and Yadi. We were quite on task, despite the distractions - the gossip that was exchanged between Serene and her OG mates.
I need someone to tutor me Chem. Y'know it's worrying to realize, two weeks after stepping into JC, that I don't even know how to tackle the simplest of mole questions. 0.0 I must'ave left my brain in RG, in that case I got to return to RG to retrieve it as soon as possible. Or maybe I had slept through all the Sec 3/4 Chem classes and didn't acquire the knowledge in the first place. That explains my horrible Chem grades, and so it occurred to me that it's about time to gain back what was lost.
After Chem lecture, Ling, two of her classmates and I went J8. I was supposed to meet Mingyue, Weixia and Huimin, but they had finished their meal and left before I reached. So, as what I've been doing for the entire day, I crashed their 403 class lunch@ Pasta Mania. It's a good thing I know so many of them, or else it would be incredibly dumb and awkward. Sijia, Lijie, Yihui, Berni, Vanessa, Chloe, Bao [?] and the table tennis girl [I forget her name again -.-] were there, Shimin, Sheryl Ho and Yiyue left before we arrived. [Shimin I'm glad we are not frogging anymore! (:]
So it was a tummy-satisfying meal, plus more gossip, whining, recollecting our past. That's why I love all-girls outings! There are so many things to talk about, so many new things to hear, so many jokes to be laughed at. Oh well. :(
By the end of the meal, we were all feeling rather nostalgic. ["I want to stay with my class for one more year!", "So many things were taken for granted... and now we regret.", "I miss our class!"] But my mood had definitely improved, talking and laughing just like we did so often before.
Liondance! Wushu! Floorball! Soccer! Fencing! Frisbee! Woohoo let's jiayou for the tryouts together! Ling, Lijie and YanYee are probably coming over on Saturday to practise soccer and volleyball with me. And tomorrow, we're having OG lunch and InterOG games. [Eh I miss bb06 too! :(] I want to play soccer, even though I suck at it. T.T
Life is looking good now. Everything is just going to get better and better. Right? Right.
Shhhh! We all know who we crush, right! :D Don't scorn me, okay! I'm not the only one. [Except Ling who loves her Andy too much. -.- Tsk tsk you should broaden your sights! XD]
--FIRst Day <33--
1/10/2008 04:08:00 PM
